Monday, May 19, 2014

Bliss

2 days was not enough.

We packed our stuff and hit the bus for an Island off in the south. The trail going to the mountain was not easy. We fight to survive the mudy ground, the cold air and the depths of the unknown.

It was eerie when you know out there are beast and poisons that soon might take your life away. But i was not afraid because i know you are there.

"Go to sleep now", he assured me of comfort and safety while leading my head to his lap.

We are together in small fabric cabin, the moment where i feel bliss.

I drift into a heavy sleep. I leave with me the concept of reality, for now everything was a dream, i wished for this not to end.

Sunday, June 23, 2013

Thoughts.

I was walking the road alone and I can’t help wonder about you. With technology nowadays I can access my social networking site and stare unendlessy at your face. You send sparkles to my eyes, you excite my nerves. You made my blood rush thus, you made me alive but until when?

When I SMS you, the replies are so cooled. When we talk, your eye never meets mine. And when you leave, you never say good bye.

Am I a desperate pathetic lover? Do I hope too much? Is everything a mere illusion? When can I call you mine?


I don’t know how to end this thing that makes me alive. Forgetting you is like suicide. I cannot move on because I still have hope. Hope,  that someday will never leave me into pieces.

Friday, May 31, 2013

Through the Wire


Cable wire suspended in the midair, 4..5..6..? I dunno the exact number. Imagine the height almost high as four or five storey building, underneath are the rumbling stones from a flowing river. You will need to cross about how many meters?  Seems like forever to reach the other end.

I feel like confessing all my sins. If one cable wire snaps would I meet my end? I was never prepared to die in something like this. Worst I was just wearing slippers and it had rained earlier. What do you expect me to do with the camera dangling in my neck? Take a photo of you while were crossing? Can you start caring more of yourself? My God! I still want to live.

On the other side, the river viewed from above looks so nice. Scenic it seems with the hill side and the trees.  It’s always best to commune with nature and challenge the adrenaline inside you feels so great.

“Slowly take few more steps…” the other side called out.

I was half way and I feel I like I’m almost there.

“Ok, for a few seconds here!“ I shouted back. Taking my camera and paused for a while.

“What are you doing?” my companion shouted.

I hold still and pretend I didn't hear them. I lifted the camera slowly to take some shots when suddenly I hear a snap.

Like a thunder it simultaneously snaps. About four or more in a jiffy clap.
Don’t know what to do but closed my eyes, only to wake up in an all white room.


(Inspired form the Monkey Bridge at Catigbian D.A.T.E. Park though rest assured everything is safe there J)

Monday, January 2, 2012

Old and the Same

What it’s like to spend New Year in the hospital?

I don’t know, it’s gonna be my first time.

Really? Maybe it’s as sad as spending New Year at the office?

I don’t know, maybe it’s much terrible. Imagine all the patients I’m gonna tend?

I think so… New Year alone is much better than having it spent in the hospital.

June looks at the door in front of his desk. The clock seems to move slowly as it’s already 10 in the evening, the night before New Year. It’s another year of loneliness, same old lines, and same old routine. He had been an office worker for a ticketing outlet for 3 years. Spending New Year at the office isn’t a new routine for him. Even though he had been assign to leave the office for a short break for the past 2 years he volunteered to be assigned instead and if not granted he swaps schedules with his officemates.

Why are you still in the office? Not given any breaks for holiday?

I choose not to.

It’s pretty sad to spend New Year’s Eve alone…

I’m used to it.

If I had a choice I would be at home than at the hospital.

I could swap schedules with you then?

Hahaha… funny! You’re not even a Nurse.

Stephanie just graduated her Nursing course a year ago. Just like any other Nursing students she dreamed of being abroad somewhere in U.S. or Europe someday but like all other Nursing students her dreams had to wait for a longer time and she had to suffer the increasing unemployed status like all other graduates of the same course. Luckily she got a Nursing Job in her auntie’s hometown. Small pay but the experience credit is what she’s up for. Somehow it might help fasten the processing period of her papers.

No one wants to spend New Year’s Eve alone.

But I do!

If only I had a choice. You’re lucky to make that choice.

Is it really that sad? Wish I could spend it with you there.

Hahahaha… With your messages it feels like you’re near.

You’re flattering me.

It’s true! It’s nice texting with you.

Same here… the feeling is mutual.

June looks back at the door. One hour and forty five minutes before midnight. The clock seems to tik faster. He then looks back at his phone. Few minutes pass the door went open.

“Go home June… Spend New Year’s Eve with your family.” The man who came in taps his shoulder.
June looks at his wrist watch. Looks back at his mobile phone, slowly gets up and pick up his keys.


“Thanks bro! I shall do it…”
He grabs his things and went straight to the door.

“Happy New Year Mike!” he shouted as he pushed the door open.

“Same here bro!” the man respond with a smile in his face.

Friday, September 2, 2011

Every...


"I wake up one day and suddenly everything was gone. Everything i had and everything i know was lost. It feels like a dream but i know this is the reality that's left of me"

- Adrian de Castro

Five friends started to booked a flight to Sabah, Malaysia with hopes of touring the South-est part of Asia. They planned to take a venture on the island of Borneo with dreams of discovering something new to themselves. But what have to be a trip for fun and adventure had become a life changing experience to a person, Adrian de Castro.

"Are you sure all is packed?" Selean checked her baggage again.

"Yes! tickets are here, toiletries are sealed and the cameras are fully charged!" Melissa answered like a snappy cadet.

"Hey! did you include canisters of film for my camera?" Adrian added.

"Of course! five rolls of them and we can buy more in Malaysia or wherever we may land if its not enough." Melissa again answered.

"Why are you still on those analog? were in the digital world man! go buy yourself a Nikon DSLR and no need for those hassle films." Jake said.

"The fun and surprise is in the analog... its called lomography anyway. It won't be lomography if its digital!" Adrian explained.

"Drian dear.. Jake won't understand you're passion. His not into the real sense of photography anyway. He just wants to show off even though he had those Nikon DSLR cameras his shooting in automatic mode." Est said while defending Adrian and holding Jake's Nikon D900.

"Enough of that! Will be late for the flight... lets go everyone!" Selean interrupted.

Going to Kota Kinabalu as their first country to embarked was like going to Cebu or Davao only. The flight took not more than two hours and the plane landed.

Tuesday, July 12, 2011

Letter of Intent

Dear Seph,

It took me few days to come up with this letter. I have to gather all my courage to start writing the first words.

I know it is not far from your knowledge and senses the efforts and approaches i have exerted to make you feel special, indeed you are right, i am treating you special.

As i said before, when words seems to hide and if i can't push them out i try to put them in writings. So this letter mainly expresses all the things i want you to know all this times.

The truth is, i like you. Worst i am starting to move beyond like and it feels like love. I don't know what i see in you that makes it hard to resist. Maybe its true, "it takes no time to fall in love but it takes years to know what love is" and i am starting to fall for you. i don't mind your flaws, your attitude, your whine, your being you.

You might not be able to return it back, its ok. Just don't let me stop loving you. Its a torture for me to pretend like i don't care, to resist you and meeting you in the eye when opportunity allows and yet i pretend that there's nothing at all. but i am not a good pretender, the eye is the window to my soul and i want you to see through me.

Love is something you give, share it with no expectations for return investment, no interest rate, and no pretentions. that's how i define love and that's how i practice it.

You may wonder why now? why you? I can only answer you with i don't know, if not now then when? If not you then who? One cannot teaches the heart when and whom to to love. Love is simply it is and its a wonderful feeling that needs to be shared and flourished.

But no worries, i am giving myself a deadline and i am making it now. I will not stop loving you but i will distance myself from you. I say its better to keep this emotion, i bet its better. But i guess they are right, if i keep on hiding this and if i keep it all time. I might explode one day, these are thing you just can't let it pass. these are the things you cannot postponed because i don't wan't to regret one day that i wasn't able to tell you how i feel. life is too short to go on leaving in regrets of the things that should have been done, that have been said but left dead because i was coward.

I know your hesitations and i am not asking more from you. I respect your values, your beliefs. but according to a hedonism principles you can never be happy unless you seek greater happiness with others, as no man is an island. We can start as a very good friend, a companion you can be with when you're alone, someone who listens to your woes and complains, someone you can trust, throw ideas, you can argue with, your crying shoulder,your someone when they all fail you because honestly in me i want you to be that someone. It is hard to be alone and its hard to grow old alone.

Whatever your decisions will be just don't forget you can always count on me like a brother, a friend. You can always open up your problems and almost everything to me. You know i will always listen, I will always have a time for you. Whatever your problem is i will try to help you with all my might and we'll solve them together.

but if its hard for you to accept this fact, you can always skip the first part, burn after reading, pretend it wasn't written. Go on as if nothing had happen.


Loving you now and forever.

Your secret admirer

Saturday, July 9, 2011

If it's Love

"If it’s love and we decide that it’s forever no one else could do it better. And if I’m addicted to loving you and you’re addicted to my love too. We can be them two birds of a feather that flock together. Love, love got to have something to keep us together. Love, love that’s enough for me."

-Train


As he opens the door he felt a sudden breeze. A cold wind just went inside that gives him goosebumps. instantly he knew who was there.

"Seph, I thought you were gone? Leave me for a while can you?"

A strong wind suddenly hit the door that slam it closed.

"Now you're furious? I did not ask for this! Can you spare me some time?" He blurted in a loud and strong tone.

The curtains in the window were like dancing as the gentle breeze became a strong wind. It hit the nearby picture frames that were hang on the wall that made a loud noise as it hit the floor. "BAAANNGGG!!"

"Calm down.. please.. we can discuss this in a peaceful manner." As he took the broken picture frame showing a photo of two young men who seems so happy from a vacation. The background was an old malay temple that gives a feeling of nostalgia to the viewer.

Not so long ago they were a happy couple. Like ordinary newly weds they embarked on a trip after agreeing on settling down together of being four years as lovers. They faced all the odds as they were not an ordinary couple in a stereotype society.

Terence was the aggressive type. He worked for an Non government office and that was fighting for the acceptance and practice of the basic human right that each individual should uphold and the society should respect.

Seph was more of the traditional person. Strong family values. He was not out of the closet due to his fear of rejection. The idea of having a relationship with the same gender will never sink into his mind as for him it was a sin. He keep his true identity hidden to everyone, even his family doesn't know or they refuse the fact that they know.

They meet in the office that Seph work for as an intern. They have different views, different backgrounds and different values. But one can never resist the sharp arrows of cupid. They were hit and they were in love.

Although it was a struggle for Seph, he had a hard time on balancing the situation. He had to weigh his choices and he have to face the consequences it holds. Although Terence was there to support him all the way, he have to make a big leap that will change his life forever. So it happened. He break his values and give in with open heart accepting Terence's love.

And for four years a midst the struggle and the difficulties they have kept their relationship working and strong. Not until that one tragic night.

"I cannot go with you. Just go ahead and don't wait for me... the meeting might last for hours and i don't want to keep you waiting." Terence explained on the other line.

"But you promise... you should have inform me earlier so that i can take a cab from the office. Now i have to walk the alleys..." Seph said worriedly.

"It'll be fine... nothing will harm you. Don't worry i'll be home soon. Sorry for this.. i know i promised but this was with short noticed. Just take care!" Terence tried to end the conversation.

"Ok i'll just try to find another alternative. Be take care too.. and.. i love you.." Seph's last words.

"i love you too..." Terence replied as he turn off the phone.

After that night Seph was never to be found.