Monday, May 25, 2009

How I Lost My Brother

There are people that can never show appreciation to the certain goodness you have given. While there are those who you treated like your brother but still can manage to stub you with a knife when your not watching. And I am a victim of both.

Truly you would never know a true nature of a person unless he is deprived of all the things that he used to have. Unless you went turbulent situation together or unless you messed up with each others pride.

And these are the accounts that made me realize I was being killed without noticing it at the first attack.

Accidentally I heard him say just one sentence that made me think how ungrateful this friend could have. He said it when he went home drunk one early dawn at the shop of our common friend. They all say I shouldn’t be silly and act childish for somehow he might not mean it because he was drunk at that time. But can you blame me? My father use to be a drunkard and he say all the silly things when he had drunk too much, the silly things that I believed came from his subconscious mind. The subconscious mind hides all the truth that the conscious state cannot express due certain suppression for a particular reason. But by means when the conscious state lost control because of certain factors that’s were the subconscious express itself. Sometimes truth hurts and when he had said those words, I felt like being slapped in the face. I went home early morning without sleep taking the bus ride still couldn’t believed to what he just have said.

It wasn’t easy losing someone you treated like a brother , someone you welcome at your home, feed, and cared. I lost a brother once, he died when he was young and I can’t afford to lose someone I treated as one.
Still for several weeks I was willing to accept him back when he decides to come home. I always thought that he might have no where else to go when everyone he had fun with will turn him down. And my door will always be open for him anytime he wants. But I did not realized it was his first move he had made to stub me.

He slowly change every time I saw him. It feels like I never knew the person he was right now. I am still willing to accept him and I never tried to touch his things. He might come back one day.

But then he stub me twice. I learned from a source how he had tried to killed me. And my source keeps telling me to let him go and with the kind of personality he had I shouldn’t welcome him back to my house.

Hearing all the bad mouth he had said against me my world clash down and my temper got loose control. I went straight home pull down all his bags and packed all his belongings and things. Every little things he owned shouldn’t be keep in my own house. This kind of person doesn’t deserve anything at all. In spite of the goodness I showed I still went unappreciated and yet damaged.

Now, I am waiting for him to evacuate all his things because I couldn’t wait around while he’ll make the third stub.

Sadly, the for the second time, I lost a brother.