Friday, September 11, 2009

Song for A Friend

Well you're magic he said
But don't let it all go to your head
Well I bet if you all had it all figured out
Then you'd never get out of bed


“Okey, this party should be great or else I’m going to kill you”, I said with a threatening look. “ Won’t risk myself going like a clown in this crappy costume party for nothing”.
“I told you this would be fun! Beers will be over flowing and food will be unlimited, talent scout will be a crowd and…” as he go nearer to his ears and slowly whisper “boys…will be flooding the room and girls too” then he flashed a boyish smile.

No doubt
All the thing's that I've read what he wrote me
Is now sounding like the man I was hoping to be
I Keep on keeping it real
Cause it keeps getting easier indeed
He's the reason that I'm laughing


No one had accepted me as me not until I meet Mark. He was a singer in this bar I went to one sad night. He was so charming and appealing especially when he started to sing. He strum the guitar like no one had done before and constantly he give a smile to his audiences and I was not an exception. As he went to smile again at me, I started to lighten up and flash a shy smile back. Seems that was not a sad night anymore. After his performance at the stage he went near to my seat and asked if I mind sharing it to him. Half hesitant I give him a space, I was planning to soaked myself being depressed but then he started chatting. He sounds so airy but I loved his arrogance and after that night we became friends.

Even if there's no one else
He said, you've got to love yourself


My sexuality was never new to him and yet he never despised me for what I am. We used to hang out together and we became close friends. He seeks my advice on woman and I seek his advice on men. It was a mutual friendship and the different one that I never had before.
“you’re never ashamed to have me as your BFF?”, I asked him.
“why should I?”, he answered. “Besides among the friends I had so far you’re the best!” he added. “Gee! Your such a black crow! Too much flowery ei..” I defensively replied since I started to came blushing from his flattered words. “Hahaha…your such a ditch!”, as he grab me and curled one hand around my neck while he rub my hair with knuckles from the other hand.

You say, you shouldn't mumble when you speak
But keep your tongue up in your cheek
And if you stumble on to
You better remember that it's humble that you seek
You got all the skill you need,
Individuality


Then from a solo acoustic performer Mark started to build a band and with it our friendship becomes a little more less of his priority. But I was obsessed with him, so I keep on chasing him from gigs to gigs and I was like a super avid fan instead of a back stage friend. From his popularity he got all the girls an while I was with him well I got all the boys.

You got something
Call it gumption
Call it anything you want
Because when you play the fool now
You're only fooling everyone else
You're learning to love yourself


In spite all the success he got he still came running to me, for one thing never changed I’m still his crying shoulder and his still my BFF. He shared to me his break ups and escapades, sometimes his worst fucks at certain whores and his break ups to a certain relationship. In the other hand his my knight and shining armor. He defend me from any offender and he is welling to get a fight if that’s necessary to respect me. He aids made from the pain I had from sadist boyfriends as I patched up his bruises from each time he went on for a fight.

Yes you are

Its hard to admit it but I find myself slowly falling for him., the thing that I fear most. I got jealous of his girls and I dreamed of sleeping with him. But no matter what happen he will never see me that way. He loved me as a friend and it will always remains the same.

There's no price to pay
When you give and what you take,
That's why it's easy to thank you
You...


“Luther, is she your friend?”, one time as he saw me and Andrea in the mall.
“Mind if you introduce me to the beautiful lady your with”, he insisted.
“Oh! You haven’t meet Andrea?”, I pretend.
“Nope, you haven’t mentioned her to me”, he answered.
“Oh really? Silly me.. Well, this is Andrea Gonzales, my high school friend”, I introduce.
“High school friend? Luther… your such a bitch!”, she said. “I’m Andrea, Luther’s cousin, nice to meet you”, as she reached for his hands with a flirty eyes.
“Nice to meet you Andrea, Luther never mentioned to me he had a beautiful cousin… how come I haven’t seen you around?” he asked.
“Well, I just arrived for a vacation in your place”, she replied.
“Yeah, and she’s only be staying here for 2 weeks so you won’t have much time to spend fooling with her so Mark… whatever you’re planning it drop it off”, I said as to ward him off.
“Luther you’re so rude… how come you’re telling me like this in front of her? You offend me…” as he flashed his boyish smile and a wink to her.

Let's say take a break from the day
And get back to the old garage
Because life's too short anyway
But at least it's better then average
As long as you got me
And I got you
You know we'll got a lot to go around
I'll be your friend
Your other brother
Another love to come and comfort you
And I'll keep reminding
If it's the only thing I ever do
I will always love
I will always love you


That was the last time that I could bound with him. When Andrea came everything changed. He was more of different than before. His eyes where sparkling with love and they were so much in love from the looks of it. He had give up everything for her and I think even giving up on it he would never make second thoughts.

“Luther! I want us to celebrate tonight”, he called
“Whats the buzzed? Why seems so much happy?”, I asked.
“Im getting married! Andrea had given her yes…”, he said happily.
“Ha?” as I paused to compose my words. “That’s great! it’s a party then.”
“Absolutely a party! You should go with me to the costume party at Palace Tavern tomorrow”, he invited.
Costume party? Palace Tavern? Come on Mark… its too gay”, I protested.
“It will be great don’t worry… Okey I’ll pick you up tomorrow… see you then!” as he dropped the call.

Yes you
I will always, always, always, always love
I will always, always love
I will always, always love, love


Luckily I lived. But Mark did not survived that accident last night. Who would know it will end this way? It was too painful to bare. I lost not just one person but a family. I lost him and its forever. I never even had a chance to tell him let him know that he means to much to me. I never had the chance at all even to show how grateful I am and I never had a chance to tell him how much I loved him. I loved him, yes, I will always love him.

Climb up over the top.
Survey the state of the soul.
You've got to find out for yourself whether or not you're truly trying.
Why not give it a shot?
Shake it. Take control and inevitably wind up
Find out for yourself all the strengths you have inside of you
.

I Am Nothing

I knew a friend or I may not knew him well too much at all but one thing is certain, somehow in his life some things just happen the way he wanted it to.

“Well I tried to live my life and lived it so well
But when it's all over is it heaven or is it hell
So I better be happy now that no one can tell, nobody knows
I'm gonna be happy with the way that I am
I'm gonna be happy with all that I stand for
I'm gonna be happy now because the boy's going home.”

- Jason Mraz (The Boy’s Gone)


I lived with the bliss of what good things can offer, I lived with faith in what I believed in, I lived for myself and not for others, I lived my life just I want it to be, I lived and I loved. And to sum up all the things that I lived for in this life there are some things that somehow we can not lived for.

For me, this things are just the ones that we can not imposed on ourselves, this are the things that no matter how hard we try they just can never meant to be and no matter how much we want its just it never could be.

My life lived a different path because I took the road that less people traveled. It was never easy and it was never too well and out of curiosity, chances were never simple. They say I had the looks, the talent and the making of a good patriarchal figure but isn’t that too coined? Or too marginalized? Well, what do you expect? The society never accepts too much of the queer stories.

I graduated a degree that my parents can afford but if have I choice I may have graduated on a different course. I landed a job that’s too absurd because that what I see of it. I don’t work for a living but living means you have to earned it. I wanted to be something else somehow or maybe I just wanted to be someone who got the fame and the fortune. See I wanted easy money and I wanted it badly, I wanted a job that’s fit me and I wanted it too soon. I wanted to travel and I want adventure, I want this latest technology, I want these fancy clothes and I want this new toys. I want them all and I want it now. These are things that’s too materialistic and too plastic but these are the things that some shallow like me wants to have. Sadly these are also the things the no matter how hard I tried I just seem to get them one at a time. Its that I had to lived for what I can afford and lived for what I can have.

And then I had friends, I had lovers and I had fun. Getting along with people isn’t difficult and falling in love isn’t hard. You just throw a party and people will come running. Flirt and you had the sex. Say, I’m gifted with charisma and I just got this irresistible appeal. So thing just came handy just like counting one, two, three. I can be happy anytime I want to or Am I truly happy? When the music stop will some be there to dance with me? When the lights goes lime and the crowd becomes crowded will someone be there to pull me out and make me safe? Is there someone I can call home? Is there some one I can call friend?

They never stay that’s for sure and seems like they leave one by one. How many times had I seen them leaving ? I can’t seem to count it any more. I even lost count to how many of them stayed in bed with me.
But for sure the last one who left me had left me for selfish reasons. Then at the end of the day I may not seem so happy at all or maybe these are just the things that never could meant to be.

But that was all over, that was all past because now I am happy. I chose to be happy. I dried my tears and decided to draw a smile on my face. Life is constantly changing and I’m moving with change. I may not have it all but at least I have some of the piece. I may not be with someone but I am not alone. I am what I am and with all that I stand for. I’m gonna be happy now because I am going home to somewhere I deserved.

I am Mark and I am Nothing.

Wednesday, September 9, 2009

Ramadan is not a Festival


Since the last two weeks of August the opening for the holy month of our Muslim brothers and sisters had started, they call it Ramadan. It is time where there faith through constant prayers in more times of a day, there discipline and being steadfast is tested through fasting. Indeed it is a holy month that in the Muslim countries around Gulf areas in Asia tried to bind laws especially for Ramadan.

As a Filipino where most of the People are Christian by faith I don’t have a full grasp of what is Ramadan for the Muslims. Although in my country the past recent presidents tried to make the opening day of Ramadan a holiday in favor of our fellow Muslim country men I don’t give a damn care to know why such importance is being held, not until I worked around this Muslim Country called Bahrain.

Ramadan in Muslim countries is a very hard time for all. Not only for Christians but also for the faithful Muslims who had to continue living in a day and practicing the virtues of Islam. Imagine fasting (which means not eating or drinking anything from sunrise to sunset) and working at the same time under a scourging heat of the sun. Surely it takes great endurance and fate to last a day.

Since its my first time in a Gulf Country, it would be a great experience to savor first hand taste of Ramadan in a Muslim country. Yes, during the first few weeks I made my fasting. It was so hard to keep up without eating and drinking suddenly for a day when way back in our country I don’t even observe the fasting on Fridays during the Holy week. But what makes me endure? Well first, my two colleague Muslims and my Manager. If it wasn’t hard for them to endure the temptation of eating (where in every lunch time you could hear the clinging of the spoons on the tea cups and the smell of bread in the pantry) how much more me? So I keep my appetite tight until If-tar (breaking of the fast in the evening, well, If-tar really means an evening prayer). Secondly, the regulations and laws. During Ramadan shop opening and closing hours had been changed. No restaurant is allowed to open from morning not until sunset. Shop hours are shorten or changed and no one allowed to eat or drink publicly. So eating will never be an option for there are no restos and fast food open (means we need till evening for them to open), eating in a hiding place and with extra caution of not being seen by an Arab Muslim also lessen the appetite. And lastly, a test of my discipline. I don’t know but sometimes disciplines gives good result to focus people. I have been testing my patience and slowly it becomes more good so how about a shot for my eating habit? Maybe it’s a good way to start a diet.

But Ramadan as of being holy is being commercialized by businessmen and marketers. They give extra offers and discount for the Ramadan Season and they even made If-tar as a time for celebration and festivity for food. Which I say forfeit’s the essence of the holy month. Ramadan is not a festival at all.

To remind my fellow expatriates working and leaving in Muslims Country please let us respect the Holy month of Ramadan and let us join them in some ways of fulfilling virtues of faith. To Muslims who commercialized this season a lot, please be reminded of what Prophet Mohammad really says about Ramadan and its virtues.

Three days after our manager arrived from Um rah (a pilgrimage to Mecca within the months of the year but not between forty days after Ramadan/Eid) he give us this small bottle with spring water and dates from Mecca. He care to distribute it to all his staffs who are Muslims, Hindi and Christians in faith. He care to include us in his prayers and he doesn’t mind what we believed in. For this one fact that holds this act, We are all children of God and in his eyes we are all equal. Religion can not save you but only your faith.

She wants a Fairytale


Writen by: Jillian Daters

Introduction

Once upon a time (well, this is how it should always start) in a land far away there lived a hunter who had married a disgrace princess. They owned a small farm and was always happy living in that simplicity. After the years the hunter who haven’t got divorced to his real mistress needs to make a crucial decision of choosing between the princess or his real wife. The disgrace princess was seven months pregnant and always hoping for the hunter to come back in the farm where they lived. She was always looking in the window pane while singing a lullaby to the baby in her womb.

Then winter came but still he didn’t came home. With all the pains of waiting and giving labor to a beautiful child she died after giving birth. The poor new born baby girl was left in the hands of the farmers tending the land. The midwife and the servants of the disgrace princess give her a simple yet solemn funeral and buried her remains at the middle of the forest. Her orphan child was named Eleanor and grow much pretty everyday in the home of her foster parents. They never deny her true identity and she grew in a hope that one day her undeserving father will come one day and explain to her his reasons.

Days pass and the land was never blessed with bounty. The poor farmer could no more feed a bigger family and they decided to trade some of their children as slaves to wealthy families. Eleanor was never an exception and so she work as a slave in the house of the Baron.

But the Baron did not treated Eleanor as a slave instead she was loved like there own daughter. They feed her delicious foods that she haven’t tasted yet, they’ve given her all the fancy dresses and dolls, they send her to a good school and most of all they loved her like their own child. The couple was never blessed with a child and they were so fond of having one. So Eleanor became an object of their affection.

Like all fairytales everything does not last a lifetime, they are also humans and they also die. The Baron got a terrible sickness and died in pain leaving Eleanor with the Baroness, her step mum. They never went along too smoothly ever since, it was only the Baron that keeps them to get along with each other, but now that he is gone the situation may got worst at all. Eleanor got fears for her future but she was tough enough to make everything well. She did not give up on her stepmother until she have learned to accept her.

At certain years Eleanor turned eighteen and more lovely while her stepmother were becoming old already. The Baroness decided it was time for Eleanor to know her secrets, for every family had a secret to hide, she got no one left but Eleanor and from the moment she entered in their lives she was a family already. She drag her to the door near the garage and try to move few bricks on the wall then suddenly a door swung open revealing a stair going down to the deeps of the house.

Eleanor got scared for the air as they descend was becoming more eerie and weird. She don’t what to do and tried to composed her courage. The more they go down the more she felt sick, a rotten odor mixed with perfumes and some ointments adds chills to her spine. She have no idea where in earth they are and what they are doing there.

“You are already 18 my dear”, at last her stepmother spoke.
“Today you will learned my secrets and I will pass on to you the great knowledge that only our clan knows. Not even you’re father knows this secret for this is only for the ladies in our blood. Since I am not blessed with a child and you are my only heir this will be a great honor for you.”

Eleanor who was half hesitant and scared was also eager and excited. She don’t know what will come out of her after she will become a full pledge witch. Her princess days are over and her witchery will about to begin. This is not what all the girls wants but this is not all the girls could have. And even thought it was odd she felt like honored and blessed.

After years of training her stepmother’s days were counted and Eleanor will soon became a full pledge witch. When she was a kid she dreamed of fairytales and now she was a grown up she could never believe she will be a fairytale character. Not the princess but the witch. But not all fairytales are only for princess, for like her, she also had her own story.

So the story your are about to embarked is not about your usual fairytale of a princess finding her prince but about a witch and her coming of age, her quest for power and finding true love in spite her marginalized character. If you wish to continue dreaming and believing about being a damsel in distress and happy endings then you have the option to stop reading this book right now. But if you wished to know how a witch makes her own fairytales then I encourage you to prepare yourself and be ready to flip the next chapters.

Sunday, September 6, 2009

I Don't Write Happy Endings


SBN Breaking News
I don’t write happy endings

SBN Breaking News

“The Famous Author of the well-loved books by young ladies ‘She wants a Fairytale’ will be visiting St. George Café tomorrow morning. Jillian Daters who is a medical technologist by profession will be giving her fans the opportunity to have their books signed. Ms. Daters made a successful debut in writing “She wants a Fairytale” last summer. Thereafter, Dreamcast Studio made it a movie set to hit the big screen late summer next year. The successful medical technologist turned writer shocked the world after offering readers a new intense style of stories. This is your gossip informer Teresa Genes.”

Yes, that’s me on the news. All my efforts had paid off after all. A successful writer. What more can I ask for? Isn’t this what I have always wanted?

After he dumped me or, shall I say I dumped him, I felt and became so much better. I got myself back on track and got to do whatever I wanted. Well, wasn’t that good enough to make him regret his decisions? Who’s the loser now?

Jillian Daters, Writer, Young, Talented, Beautiful, Smart, a Woman and Just recently became single.

I look at the mirror everyday and I see the same old me. No matter how I sort my hair, put my makeup or change the way I look, I am still what I am in front of the mirror inside and out.

After that bastard dumped me I was never the same again. Along with his flight, he took away what I know I could have become.

I was a fool to build my dreams around him --I was a fool to love him. Yet the question, ‘how come he never came back for me?” Was that so easy for him to leave me? Was there any love left? Or perhaps he never loved me in the first place?

I knew from the very start it was going to be difficult. It was like a game of Cat-and-Mouse or Tug-‘O-War. I had kept trying to work things out, to make the relationship work but why the hell did it end up like it was my entire fault?

They say he had gone tired of understanding me. Haven’t they seen my efforts? I got tired too. I became stagnant and could not seem to move on. All those years we spent together had gone to waste.

Then my mother called me, “Dear, that was why we were so protective of you. We didn’t want you to get hurt but your father said we should let go of you. You can never appreciate a flower grow if you keep watching it. Let the rain and sunshine bless it so that a flower can bloom.

“And he was right. You will never learn if we keep you so much in our hold. It might be too painful but it will make you a better person. This is part of growing up and this is part of what we call life. We believe so much in you that we know you can always stand up after every fall. And if that man leaves you, don’t forget that he’s the only one who’s leaving. The part of a greater whole in you is still stays with you. Just look back around and you will see your family and friends will always be there to catch you.”

I looked at myself in the mirror a second time afterward and I saw a better me. I wiped off my tears, had my hair done and put on a nice armor of makeup. “No, Jillian Daters is not bitter. She is GOOD!”

I went on with my life and I started doing what I love doing most --writing. I wrote down my love story which later became a book. I wrote it not for him but for every girl to know that life’s happy endings is our choice.

I started dating again and actually started to have fun! I began to know myself better and to move on.

Then my book got published and became a best selling sensation. I felt the change within my grasp and as I saw my name in the papers. My name got whispered around to a loud clamor as my name and my photos got more spots on television shows. I became famous to the point of being a source of quotable quotes myself.

“This world should never be just a patriarchal society. Every woman should deserve a fair share of everything. We have been created equal and are thus equal regardless of gender. Fairytales of princesses as damsels in distress are all too absurd! Women should not be taken in by foolish chauvinistic tales meant to feed the masculine ego. These are just ploys for us to look easy and too weak. These I shall keep proving wrong! This is the reason why I do not write happy endings for there are none. We determine how we make our endings. We can actually choose to make them happy ones!”

Yes, that was me again saying my final words at a late night show interview. I have moved on so far now. I said those words in a manner so strong I even trembled with conviction after watching myself in the boob tube. Partly thanks to him for morphing me into this and many thanks to my dear mother for shaking me off a living nightmare. It had been a long day and a long night. Now, it was time to get a well deserved long rest.
.
Knock..Knock. Knock.. The loud rapping resonated around my apartment.

Now, who the hell could be disturbing my peace at this time of the night? I got down and tried to check on the person at my door.

“Who is it?” I said haggardly to the closed door. .

“Jillian, it’s me Ray! Can I come in please? I need to talk to you about that interview you gave tonight”

“Oh Ray! It’s very late, what’s so important about it that can’t wait ‘till in the morning?” I opened the door wide and bade him in.

“Can I get you something to drink? You look so tired.”

“Oh no, don’t bother. I’m good. I just came here to tell you about the audience reaction about your last statement in that interview.” Ray looked strangely nervous and gloomy at the same time.

Curious now, my tiredness abated some to ask, “Okay, what about it then?”

“It’s just that some male viewers didn’t like what you said”, he said thickly.
.
“Is that all? I don’t see any problem in that…” my words hung when he reached into his left pocket to draw out a pocket knife.

“Well now it will be a problem bitch!”

I was reduced to mere horrified gasps as I felt the cold steel of the knife he plunged into my chest several times as he spat out, “This one is for my brother! You whore! And this one is for hurting me!”

Then, I knew nothing more.

SBN Breaking News:

Early this morning the New York Police Department found the body of well renowned novelist Miss Jillian Daters sprawled by the front door of her Manhattan apartment. NYPD received the call at 6:34 A.M. from Ms. Daters’ housekeeper Mrs. Maria Castillo who discovered her body when she came in to do her usual routine.

Forensics reports reveal that Ms. Daters’ was concluded to have died from massive hemorrhage sustained from three stab wounds on her chest. She also sustained a fractured right arm that gave evidence to a struggle. Ms. Daters was last seen right here on our studio last night for an interview spot at the Clark Lewis Late Nights with Fame show.

The NYPD is still looking at the angle of robbery with homicide. Initial investigation by the police found the apartment ransacked and Mrs. Castillo confirmed that some of Ms. Daters’ personal belongings have gone missing.

The suspect has yet to be identified and apparently remains at large.

Jillian Daters was the author of one of today’s most popular books “She Wants A Fairytale” that had taken mostly female audiences by storm. She was scheduled for an autograph signing of her book at 4:00 this afternoon at St. George Café.

Now, instead of the book signing, her fans will be trooping to her apartment building where they have begun laying out a shrine of candles, flowers, and posters expressing their grief, devotion to their heroine, and their clamor for justice over the gruesome crime. While the family of Ms. Daters and the rest of the world are still in shock over her sudden demise, her avid fans are holding a prayer vigil.

That’s about it for this hour’s breaking news, this Teresa Genes reporting live at the SBN newsroom.


Saturday, September 5, 2009

The Tale of Love Songs

What I needed most was to love and to be loved, eager to be caught. Happily I wrapped those painful bonds around me; and sure enough, I would be lashed with the red-hot pokers or jealousy, by suspicions and fear, by burst of anger and quarrels.

-St. Augustine


The moon was perfectly round, it was shining too bright and the land is celebrating.
People somewhere in a part of the world are so festive, they have there cups full of wine to drink and there plates are bountiful of meat and all the food the meadows could offer. It was no ordinary day they are offering thanks giving, they are in a sort of gala to the gods for another harvest was made. But a midst all the happiness you can feel and the loud music you can hear there hearts are not joyous. They never find the true meaning of being happy and everything they could have are so superficial.

Mark are you listening to me? Why are you not raising your cup?” The man in short leather cape with a medieval dress that resembles like a knight raised his big barbarian cup full of grind grapes mixed with yeast. His shoes was wrap with rope and the belt were two loosen strap one made of cows skin and the other out of a deer. Perhaps a sword used to hang there before but due to time and odd poverty he had give up his sword and instead replace it with a knife. “I am giving a tossed, this one is for Mark! He drag me out of the armory to celebrate his up coming wedding, say cheers to Mark!”

“Cheers!” The crowd in the tavern responded. Then they lift there cups in the air shake it a bit and make a tossed to the man sitting in the bar counter looking a bit bashful and red. He had this soft white camisole and lousy pants pair with a leather sandals.

Luther! What are you doing? Get down here” as he pulled the man who just made the tossed. “You already had drunk too much and you don’t know what you’re doing. Lets get out of this party before you’ve done too much damage for me.”

“Where are you taking me? Luther protested. “Will go home!” Mark answered as he drag Luther by the hand and pushed him inside the car. He switched the car engine on, pulled the lever and started driving away from the tavern. He despised the silence inside the car since Luther got snooze after he had lie down the passengers seat. Out of no where he pushed the stereo on.

Hours before the party Mark received a call.

“Andrea, why are you calling me? Is there something wrong?”
Mark, there’s something you need to know” the tone was so solemn and serious.
“What is it then? Tell me,” he seems so worried and uneasy.
“I’m breaking up with you, sorry, its over” then she almost started to cry before the line got cut off.
“Andrea wait! What seems to be the problem? Wait, don’t do this to me… Andrea.. Andrea answer me!” he reprimanded before he realized the other line was already cut off.

Back inside the car.

“Damn love songs! How many are there in the world? Can people write something else better than this topic? Damn it! Damn love!” he shouted as he started to twiddle the radio. While Luther on the other hand was already sound asleep.

One day before the party at the costume store.

Mark was picking up some shirts to wear while Andrea was busy chatting with the cashier on the counter. Then he saw her made a glance at him and then he felt so much love that he cannot resist appreciating the beauty of the girl that came with him in the shop right now.
“Andrea, until when will you love me? He asked her as he was caressing her long soft curly hair.
“Well, can hear that love song?” she asked.
“Yes, what’s with it then?” as he keeps on listening for the music, it was a classic one from Michael Johnson, I’ll always love you.
“As long as that love song keeps on playing I will always love you.” she answered softly and give Mark a kissed on the check.

Inside the car.

“Is there any station right now that doesn’t play any love song? Luther! Are you listening to me?” he shouted.
“What’s you’re problem with love songs anyway?” Luther was awaken by so much noise that Mark was making. “Aren’t they too fucking bullshit? Hahahaha…” Luther laughs sarcastically before he passed out on the car floor.
“Man..! You fuck up! Don’t messed up on the floor!” he warned as he continue tuning the stereo buttons.

One month ago. Andrea rushed inside Mark’s room.

Mark, are the rumors true?” she seeks out for an honest answer. “You’re leaving the band?”
“Yes, its true. Isn’t that what you want?” he said.
“Oh Mark! I can’t believe it… but isn’t it too much? I mean you love the band and you love playing music…” she seems worried.
“But I love you more than anything else in this world and I’m willing to give up everything rather than to lose you.” then he give her a hug.
Mark… I could not ask for more…” then she reached for his lips and they give each other a tight locked kiss.

In the car again.

“Damn! Damn! Damn!” as he smashed the stereo with his hands. Then slowly he paused for a while, as teardrops feel into his eyes followed by a bright light and a skretching sound. After that the love song then all fade out.

Friday, September 4, 2009

The Troll Mirror


“I can’t believe it myself!”


I am at the highest place in the city, above are the blanket of stars and below it are the sparkling city lights. Beside me is the prettiest girl I have known all my life, we were seated on the dewy grass watching the busy world pass by in a breezy evening atop this hill. She slowly moves her body next to me trying to feel my warm as I stretched my arms to embrace her. She then lean her head forward to my shoulders as I enclosed us in a heartfelt hug. Shooting stars passed us and the moon was so perfectly round and bright.
Then we moved our faces to each other while closing our eyes with our hearts beating faster and the blood rush eager for a romantic…

“Lei!” I was awaken with the loud shout at my face.
“Here you are… we were all so busy while you’re day dreaming here in this secluded corner?”
“Aha.. Would that be right? The President of this organization had a few minutes to spare taking a nap while his subordinates are damn busy doing the preparations for this exhibit which is about to start…” as she checked her watched. “…An hour from now?” OMG! We should not be wasting more time chatting here Mr. President?” with a serious eye brows raised look. “Okey everybody please checked the final preparations we will be opening an hour from now.” “And for you Mr. President…” as she look back to me and tried to fix my hair. “…Please cleaned up yourself and try to be pleasant to our guest , they will be arriving sooner from now and we can’t afford to present them a grungy President. You know very well the Dean is expecting much from us.”

“What more can I say?” as I crumpled back my hair “You already spoiled my romantic dream… and one more thing, don’t worry about the Dean, he won’t mind a punk ass looking president of this organization entertaining the Mayor of this town. He cares less anyway.” Then with a bold impression I move forward to her putting my two hands across her shoulder, “And for you Ms. Vice-President can you calm down for some moment? Don’t worry about the exhibit thing so much, surely we can give this school a successful opening day.”

“We better should or else were doomed.” as she push my hands away then turn her back to walk towards the other crew.

Ice was the prettiest girl I have seen in my whole life. No one can resist her beauty and charm plus a killer personality and an addictive allure she fits to be a queen. No wonder she truly embodies the Snow Queen persona she had been numb to all the boys sweet promises and her heart had been cold to any romantic love. She always had more important things on her priority list and love or romantic relationship was not on it.

I have been trapped in her charm and I can’t seem to find any wrong with her. Honestly, she is so bossy, a perfectionist, hard to satisfy and so high standard but who can blame a Queen like her? I have fallen in love with her and I can’t take her away from my dreams. She haunts me and her voice seems like a lullaby to my ears. I wanna be with her and I could not live without her. Not until today…

“Wake up Lei!” I told my self.
“You refuse to see the truth, you’ve been charmed! Can't you get it? She will never fall for you, she will put you in the same category with all the guys she have known and charmed if you continue being like this. Prove her your different! See the beauty in ugly for not all the things in this world is wonderful!” Then a strong slap landed in my face where in a small splinter from the troll mirror dislodge from my eyes. It was it and now I’m awaken.

I saw her sobbing while walking away from me. It was her who slap me. It seems like I had embarrass her among the crowd. I don’t know what I have done to her but one thing for sure I will not allow it to happen again. Then I fasten my phase and catch up to her. There is a lot of apologizing to do. And with that splinter of the troll mirror out of my eyes I can see things more clearly now.